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October 29, 2009
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Once Upon a Midnight Dreary, a sudden thought began – a theory;
Somewhere upon some blistery night a person learned to like E. Poe
And since then teachers teach his stuff, and students like it – what a bluff,
I wish to God to scream enough! Enough of sadness and sorrow!
Haven't we sufficient sights of death descending, of sorrow?
Why a raven, not a crow?

Surely crows are just as sober, and why not have it in October?
It's not like ravens really speak a word like "nevermore" although,
A bird that speaks is a parrot, does it not have the same merit?
Or must the speaker come with woe, a woe that comes from only Poe?
Must it be black, or dreary looking, and if so, then why did Poe
Choose a raven, not a crow?

Crows are teasing, vexing, stronger, and their list of faults is longer,
So why do crows not have the spotlight, instead to their larger parts bestow
A fame for gloom and bereavement, to no crows this achievement,
What if "nevermore" was altered, altered instead to be "hello"?
A strange answer this would be, to ask a name and hear "hello",
From not a raven, but a crow.

Turning from this gloomy subject, instead we'll think of and detect
The reason that Poe's stories linger on suffering endured long ago
The House of Usher cracks and falls, the ceiling gone and all the walls,
The heart tells tales of a murder, murder whose victim lies below,
Amontillado's cask, a trick to get him forever stuck below,
And a raven, not a crow.

Here our tale shall end in style, thanks for reading this awhile,
The reason I have this compiled is thanks to dear old Edgar Poe
Who wrote a lot that now we read, despite the fact we have no need,
They test us on these dark stories, stories which teachers like to show,
I guess I'll have to like it, but the thing which will forever show
Is that it was a raven, and not a crow.
In English we read "The Raven" and I was so inspired by the fact that my teacher seemed to think every student in the world loved Edgar Allan Poe's work that I had to prove him wrong by mocking the poem.

Don't get me wrong, he's a good author, and it's a good poem, but I don't like his work much. Too dark (and the poem format is WAY too hard to copy)...

So this is my attempt at a parody. It was meant as a no-time-spent joke, but once I tried I actually got really into trying to match his format. It was really hard, and I still don't like it much as a poem.

Oh, and for those who don't know, "The House of Usher" is Poe's story where the house of Usher literally and figuratively falls down, "The Tell-tale Heart" is... Well, most people know that one, and "The Cask of Amantillado" is a really creepy story where to get revenge a guy lures his enemy into a basement/sewer sort of place and seals up where he is with bricks so he'll die a slow, painful death.

~Secret
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:iconsun-wing:
Sun-wing Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2009
very well done! honestly, very impressive and you actually came pretty damn close to his exact style! I like this, its funny and it makes sense ^^
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:iconfullofsecrets:
FullofSecrets Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2009
Thanks. :) It was a lot of work to parody, so I'm glad that it's noted. ^^

~Secret
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:iconsun-wing:
Sun-wing Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2009
you're very welcome ^^
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:iconianseraph:
IanSeraph Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2009  Student General Artist
Good stuff. Poetry is ALWAYS a good way to stick it to your English teachers.
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:iconfullofsecrets:
FullofSecrets Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2009
XD Yup, it is. ^^
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:iconchari-artist:
Chari-Artist Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2009  Professional Digital Artist
Wow, very well done. :]
Our teacher actually never covered E.Poe with us...hmm, dunno why..

This reminded me of one of my other teachers. She has two crows that live near her house, and they can actually say "hello" like a parrot xD
Sadly I haven't heard them though

anyway, this is all very nice. :D
Reply
:iconfullofsecrets:
FullofSecrets Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2009
XD Thank you. I'm glad you like it. ^^
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:iconchari-artist:
Chari-Artist Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2009  Professional Digital Artist
Your welcome :]
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