[x]

There was a lad named Chaos who live in the North

There was a lad named Chaos who lived upon the north.
Some days upon a bicycle, he would sally forth.
The cat and dog would look at him with a wistful grin,
And sneak into the fridge and fix a Mickey Finn.
“I’ll be so cross without a trout,” Dizzy twitched her tail.
And little Jenny sat and sighed, “Where’s that Russian borzoi boyfriend for me named Mikhail?”
Off he toodled far and wide on his tiny rims,
Mermaids and troll he did search on a mirthful whim.
Down the cliffs he fell and bounced, like a rubber ball,
Luckily he landed on his head to break the spinning fall.
“Curse you, trolls!” he sa

Cake ObsessionThere is a house magnificent
With marble floors and satin drapes;
Yet the owner has a bad temperament
Which twisted his face into ugly shapes.

His life was filled with loneliness
He knew he made a mistake
To prefer work over love
He had missed his mother's cake.

He does little work yet he earns gold;
Yet if you watch his life unfold,
You'll see the pain he had as a child
Because his plans of stealing cake were defiled.

His past was filled with nonstop pain
And seconds passed in sheer disdain
Because his sister stole his cake
And threw it into a murky lake.

Evil plans are strolling his mind
All for the cake, so he could find.
He took the k

Maine: A LimerickMaine: The Land of Snow and Tractors -
where the Shotguns are plenty and the Teeth are few,
where the Men are Men and the Women are too.

Oh Lonely TomatoOh lonely tomato
so juicy, so red
I watched you sit alone
on your cold hard bed
your bed made of marble
a contrasting grey
Oh shiny tomato
i hate to see you this way

You stand out, tomato
amongst the kitchen things
your companion is the "happy mug"
which once thought it had wings
so it flew from the counter
but landed with a crash
and now its edge is chipped
but at least it didnt smash

Oh lonely tomato
you look so red and sweet
I think I'll pick you up
'cause I want something to eat
Oh lonely tomato
now you are no more
and you were too acidic
so you made my belly sore

goodbye tomato
farewell my friend
now you are eaten
and this is the end.

Ways of WalkenThe path of Walken is mysterious.
With many twists and turns.
For there's so much that awaits for you.
Follow me and you will see.

I invented a program.
To bring out your Inner Walken.
It is a simple hypnosis program.
Trigger is cowbell.

Ever wanted to be Walken?
Ever wanted to get over your fear of him?
Then this program is the thing.
The key to curing your Walkenphobia.

But beware.
I must warn you that..
That once you go Walken.
You can't go back.
And you won't be able to.

It is a slippery slope of no return
When to Walken's ways and face you turn.
Your wish will be forever true
You will be Chris and no more you...
Cowbell. Tink Tink T

The Story of SalThe Story of Sal
Written by Jack Lotz
Age:18

Once there was a girl named Sal
Who came from the land of Pal
And really liked pots
Everyone always though she was kinda hot
So this is the Story of Sal.

.: Sleep! :.

Sleep, oh wonderful and refreshing sleep,
How skillfully evasive thou can be.
Sleep, oh how I yearn for refreshing sleep,
But thou still refuseth to come to me.
At times I close these tired eyes of mine,
And immediately fall aslumber.
Yet sometimes I start to lose track of time,
And still my wakefulness does not crumble.
I beggingly beseech thee, oh great sleep.
Please do come to rescue me from this woe.
How deeply I yearn for thee, oh great sleep,
My desire for thee continues to grow.
Sleep! What a mighty and powerful name!
Sleep! In lacking thee there's nothing to gain!

Minya's just a little tyke....

Atomic monsters breathing fire
Don’t wake them up and rouse their ire.
Minya’s just a little tyke,
Covers miles with a little hike.
Atomic smoke rings are his thing,
Practicing to be the monster king.
Anguirus, Mothra, Rodan, and Manda,
I’ve yet to see a radioactive panda.
Godzilla’s Revenge we will NOT discuss,
Don’t make me mad and start a fuss.
I miss poor Minya, he’s really cute.
To hug him would be a mighty hoot.
But I’d be kinda squished.
Not exactly something you’d have wished.
The Kamacuras are coming near…
…it time to run and hide in fear!

FairiesDew drops have gathered on
Glasses of wine,
Smelling of spring where the
Fairies have dined.
Twilight’s unfriendliness
Scours the trees,
Stealing their dreams in the
Coldness of screams.
Beasts of the shadows now
Clamber ashore
From rivers that demons have
Come from before.
Teeth shine like knives and
Blood is then spilt,
Quenching the thirst of
Lucifer’s hilt….

I thought I’d write
A lovely poem
About some fairies and gnomes,
But this is what happens
When I’m stuck on a weekend at home.

Walken Chant RepriseAt first I was shocked.
I didn't know what to do.
Because becoming Walken.
Was too good to be true.
I thought it would be scary.
Maybe even a little strange.

I took the slippery road of no return.
To the ways of Walken I did turn.
And then my wish and dreams came true.
I am Chris..and no more me.
But there's nothing else i'd like to be.

And to think..
That it started with a Walken fan, a computer program..
And a cowbell.
Tink tink..tink.

Bop the CowBop the Cow
Written by Jack Lotz
Age: 11

Once there was a cow named Bop
Who really liked corn on the cop
Once he ate so much corn
That he blew up like a horn
And that was the end of Bop!

Pumpkin LimerickThere once was a happy old man,

Whose favorite pumpkin was smashed by a van.

The driver was sorry and cried very sad.

The old man just laughed and said, “Now don’t feel so bad”

Now it will be pie, all baked in a pan.

The Basket CaseThe Basket Case
Humorous

The white coats are coming now
I hear the clinking of a key
They draw so near that i can hear
I know they are coming for me
My body is aching every day
My mind is tired and stressed
Lock me up in my bedroom
And then we will all be blessed

La Classe Liberata, Parte 13Giunser in poco alle nevi perenni,
Marco alla guida perché egli la strada
pel rifugio sapeva. Così, indenni,
in una grotta, sguainata la spada,
entraron circospetti: .

Luce scorsero in fondo alla grotta:
era d'un fuoco a una donna vicino
urlò con voce rotta
Marco che riconobbe il volto fino.
Ma la strega iniziò lesta la lotta:
era nascosta dentro un anfrattino
e da lì uscì non appena sentì
il grido con cui Marco si tradì.

Pronti i nostri sguainarono le lame,
Enea anche trasse fuor un pugnale,
per uccider quella donna infame
che era Timiditas, strega del male.
Come fiere che abbiano m

He's wearing a dressI'm gone tonight
Playing in the wilderness
While back in town
My lover's trying on a dress

I'm dancing in the evening rain
It's soaking me to my skin
While my lover's playing beauty queen
With a silly boyish grin

I'm gone tonight
Thinking of my lover's ways
And all the while he's dancing
In his weird dressy ways

Browse More Like This

Download File
HTML, 2.1 KB more ▶

More from ~FullofSecrets

Learning to Trust: Chapter 1

All my life I wanted to be a father. It was a passing wish in many ways; a dream I had begun to cherish but was scared to let come true. I wondered at times if I was father material considering my forgetful habits and my tendency to talk more than any one person would want to listen. Even with my doubts though, nothing made me more nervous than to consider what came (or should come) before becoming a father.
I had always been nervous around women from the time I could first remember really being aware that “girls” meant something entirely different than cooties. It probably didn’t help that, as I dated the few girls who wou

View Gallery · View Prints

Featured in Groups:

Not currently featured in any groups.

Details

Submitted: October 29, 2009
File Size: 2.1 KB

Link

Thumb

Statistics

Comments: 8
Favourites: 1 [who?]
Views: 124 (0 today)
Downloads: 3 (0 today)

[x]

The Crow: A parody

by ~FullofSecrets, Oct 29, 2009, 3:39:01 PM
Literature / Poetry / Humor / Traditional Fixed Forms

Once Upon a Midnight Dreary, a sudden thought began – a theory;
Somewhere upon some blistery night a person learned to like E. Poe
And since then teachers teach his stuff, and students like it – what a bluff,
I wish to God to scream enough! Enough of sadness and sorrow!
Haven't we sufficient sights of death descending, of sorrow?
Why a raven, not a crow?

Surely crows are just as sober, and why not have it in October?
It's not like ravens really speak a word like "nevermore" although,
A bird that speaks is a parrot, does it not have the same merit?
Or must the speaker come with woe, a woe that comes from only Poe?
Must it be black, or dreary looking, and if so, then why did Poe
Choose a raven, not a crow?

Crows are teasing, vexing, stronger, and their list of faults is longer,
So why do crows not have the spotlight, instead to their larger parts bestow
A fame for gloom and bereavement, to no crows this achievement,
What if "nevermore" was altered, altered instead to be "hello"?
A strange answer this would be, to ask a name and hear "hello",
From not a raven, but a crow.

Turning from this gloomy subject, instead we'll think of and detect
The reason that Poe's stories linger on suffering endured long ago
The House of Usher cracks and falls, the ceiling gone and all the walls,
The heart tells tales of a murder, murder whose victim lies below,
Amontillado's cask, a trick to get him forever stuck below,
And a raven, not a crow.

Here our tale shall end in style, thanks for reading this awhile,
The reason I have this compiled is thanks to dear old Edgar Poe
Who wrote a lot that now we read, despite the fact we have no need,
They test us on these dark stories, stories which teachers like to show,
I guess I'll have to like it, but the thing which will forever show
Is that it was a raven, and not a crow.

The Crow: A parodyby ~FullofSecrets

Literature / Poetry / Humor / Traditional Fixed Forms

In English we read "The Raven" and I was so inspired by the fact that my teacher seemed to think every student in the world loved Edgar Allan Poe's work that I had to prove him wrong by mocking the poem.

Don't get me wrong, he's a good author, and it's a good poem, but I don't like his work much. Too dark (and the poem format is WAY too hard to copy)...

So this is my attempt at a parody. It was meant as a no-time-spent joke, but once I tried I actually got really into trying to match his format. It was really hard, and I still don't like it much as a poem.

Oh, and for those who don't know, "The House of Usher" is Poe's story where the house of Usher literally and figuratively falls down, "The Tell-tale Heart" is... Well, most people know that one, and "The Cask of Amantillado" is a really creepy story where to get revenge a guy lures his enemy into a basement/sewer sort of place and seals up where he is with bricks so he'll die a slow, painful death.

~Secret

~Sun-wing Nov 9, 2009

very well done! honestly, very impressive and you actually came pretty damn close to his exact style! I like this, its funny and it makes sense ^^

~FullofSecrets Nov 9, 2009

Thanks.

It was a lot of work to parody, so I'm glad that it's noted. ^^

~Secret

~Sun-wing Nov 9, 2009

you're very welcome ^^

!IanSeraph Oct 30, 2009 Student General Artist

Good stuff. Poetry is ALWAYS a good way to stick it to your English teachers.

~FullofSecrets Oct 31, 2009

XD Yup, it is. ^^

~Chari-Artist Oct 29, 2009 Student General Artist

Wow, very well done. :]
Our teacher actually never covered E.Poe with us...hmm, dunno why..

This reminded me of one of my other teachers. She has two crows that live near her house, and they can actually say "hello" like a parrot xD
Sadly I haven't heard them though

anyway, this is all very nice.

~FullofSecrets Oct 29, 2009

XD Thank you. I'm glad you like it. ^^

~Chari-Artist Oct 30, 2009 Student General Artist

Your welcome :]

More from ~FullofSecrets

Featured in Groups:

Details

Statistics

The Crow: A parody

The Crow: A parodyby ~FullofSecrets

The Journal Portal

Polls

What is your preferred drawing software?

deviantART [dee·vee·un'nt·ART]

Keep in Touch!

Deviousness

Add Media

Style