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Submitted on
February 12, 2009
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1.8 MB
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3264×2448
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2,914
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Camera Data

Make
OLYMPUS IMAGING CORP.
Model
E-500
Shutter Speed
1/80 second
Aperture
F/4.0
Focal Length
35 mm
ISO Speed
100
Date Taken
Feb 11, 2009, 6:35:15 PM
×
Marry Me? -Version 2- by FullofSecrets Marry Me? -Version 2- by FullofSecrets
So I retook "Marry Me" with the idea of putting the "Yes" in the slot holder instead of on the board. I took some with seven letters and some with just these three. The angle and lighting was the best for this picture, though I'm still not very satisfied with it. I started too late and it was already getting dark outside when I tried taking this picture (Yes, I was playing scrabble outside, by myself, in the dark. ;) ) Anyway... I do like it all the same. The way I took it I was trying to blur either to the "Yes" or the "Will you marry me" and have the other clear. I liked this angle and focus the best.

EDIT: Hoping to do this for For :iconcritique-it:'s Re-envision it! project.

When taking this picture I struggled between wanting to have a correct scrabble game (which would basically mean that I couldn't have a space and have the words "Will You" together) and wanting it to be easily read. This was the best solution that I came up with, though by all means I am open to suggestions.

Also, what about the angle? Is straight on really the most interesting way I could have taken that or is there a better way that I just happen to be missing? And if it IS best straight on, is it important that the picture be precisely centered?

Next, the letter holder. I like it being in the picture, although I also tried it a different way with this picture originally:
Is one way better than the other? Personally I found this one a bit more interesting because the focus was more dramatic, rather than the whole thing being in focus, but I dunno... With the letter holder I also felt like there should be seven letters but I wasn't sure how exactly to go about doing that. I could put nonesense letters around the "yes" but I tried that some and it seemed jumbled to me, less clear and less dramatic. Anyone think it would be better that way?

Lastly, would this picture be more dramatic with a traditional scrabble board (wooden pieces, muted colors, etc.) or is it better with the more vibrant, new looking pieces?

Thanks to anyone who takes the time to critique this!

~Secret
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:iconworldwar-tori:
This critique is brought to you by #Critique-It

First of all, I love the idea. It's quite lovely, and I think the diamonds make the perfect spaces to be honest. I see what you were saying with spaced or put together, but this works perfectly.
Also, it shows breaking rules or boundaries, which could work well with the concept as well.

I do like this one better than the original one you did. In the original, yes was just laid out there, while this one, still holds the answer to the question. In the game, nobody would know what was had yet. So I think this one holds a bit more anticipation.

Which leads to your question about the jumbled letters. In a way I want to say yes and I want to say no at the same time. I like that the YES is clear, but it seems incomplete without the other four letters.

Maybe if you put them off to the side and spaced away from the yes, something to fill space but not take notice, perhaps it'd give a complete feel. I think that's one where you'd have to take a few shots and see what comes out.

If you did decide to do that, I think maybe if two of the other letters were N and O (but not placed right next to each other), it could give an anticipating feel for those that do actually notice it. Like, the answer could go either way, even though you'd see that clearly, it's going one direction, and that is yes.

You asked about the classic scrabble. In a sense, I do like the brighter colors of this piece. It adds a more dynamic and vivid sort of feel to the questions, but at the same time 'will you marry me?' isn't exactly a new phrase or anything, I think the classic-ness of it would be nice as well at the same time. I think both could be interesting, and to be honest, I think I'd have to see the other to decide which one I actually like more.

As for the angle, I do like it, but at the same time, maybe if you lifted your camera up to angle it down a little bit more, so you could see the space between you and yes. Or just pulled the letter holder away a little bit, whichever, would give the same effect I think.

I do think though, for the angle, maybe if you titled it a little to the right, it seems a bit tilted to me. It's mostly from the red squares going diagonally across the board. Also, you can see where the top ends on the upper left corner. Though this isn't exactly distracting from the photo much, it is there, so I figured I could point that out just a little bit. This is more personal taste than the actual photo itself. Also, the letter holder on the bottom, is cut off, I think if you're going to have it so close, if it could go across the whole picture or be centered in the picture, it'd be more symmetric to the viewer.

As for the letters being more centered, I don't think it'd really give anything to the photo. I think to be honest, I like it the framing the way it is.
With the length of the words, The 'y' for the meeting of the words works nicely and seems quite balanced since the longer part is on the left and there's a bit more space on the right.

Over all; great work :thumbsup:

:heart:
TORi

((( please do not pay attention to the stars, the critique is in what I wrote)))
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
5 out of 5 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconvinalovery:
is an idea truly romantic and exciting. We are in time where no one would ever surprise by the ways in which marriage is requested. :love:

It would be a great idea to doing
The "yes" is a fast, as the couple already had planned, or no one would doubt to say YES. :nod:

It reminds me of the movies on las vegas. The life as a player plays with a beautiful woman he loves.

Innovative idea and lovely, men should not be afraid to do this things please! the women loves this things!!!!!!!!!!!

I love your idea! please keep your good imagination :hug:
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
2 out of 2 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:icongurlyhr:
GurlyHR Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
That's so cute! <3
Reply
:iconjessieliekskoalas:
JessieLieksKoalas Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2011
this is BRILLIANT <3 and so sweet. great work.
Reply
:icontastetherainbowxd:
TasteTheRainbowXD Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2010  Hobbyist Photographer
THIS is the CUTEST thing I have ever seen. Great idea!
Reply
:iconfullofsecrets:
FullofSecrets Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2010
Thanks, I'm glad you like it.
Reply
:icontastetherainbowxd:
TasteTheRainbowXD Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2010  Hobbyist Photographer
:) Thank you for sharing!
Reply
:iconbatmanwithbunnyears:
BatmanWithBunnyEars Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2010   General Artist
I much prefer this version. With the "Y-E-S" tiles still unplayed and presumably out of the other player's view, it creates a sense of anticipation, meanwhile as the omnicient viewers, we get the delight of knowing that the answer will be yes.
Reply
:iconlankie:
Lankie Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2010
I was directed here by the #Critique-It link.

- To start with, I love the concept. Its a fantastic way of conveying a message and the parallels between the games uncertainty of other people's responses to your words is well concieved and executed. ;)

- The decision to use the blanks as spaces, rather than incoherent mumblings (willyou, marryme) was a good one, likewise with the absence of unneeded letters. However I will say that it may have been possible to accentuate the idea of a game in progress, and therefore a more dynamic situation rather than the more artificial and set up look that is present in this edition by placing a few unused tiles on either the board or the rack. Which look you prefer is obviously a personal choice and my preference leans towards the current style as much of the strength of this piece I think comes from its immediate and strongly presented message which would most likely be obscured by excess clutter.

- Moving on to the angle and focusing of the picture. I don't particularly like the straight on view, centered or otherwise. The other picture that you linked to, with the skewed cross and seemingly random discarded tiles forming 'YES' is much more to my liking. The off-kilter presentation lends a much more organic feel to the piece than the current view which makes for a more natural looking piece. This would perhaps be aided by positioning the tile rack so that the viewer is still obviously the owner of the rack but it is not necessarily fully in line with the displayed words. I realise this seems to be a contradiction to what I said before about sacrificing the reality of the picture but this picture needs a particularly fine balance. Too natural and it will lose its impact, too artificial and it will look contrived.
I understand why you have thrown the focus to emphasise the 'MARRY ME' (and again this a personal foible) but I think it would be better served by a slightly higher point of view and a clear focusing on all the tiles. Perhaps not quite as high as the top-down view in the second example as this would eliminate much of the tension created by being able to see the 'YES' tiles still on their rack (one of the strongest elements of the composition in my opinion) but higher than the current view. The reason I suggest not throwing the focus off is that I think all the parts of the phrase shown are of equal importance. The current focussing I think loses some of the significance of the answer that is being shown by blurring it and the reverse would happen if the question was defocussed.

- A few points about choices of props.
I think the diamond blanks are a good addition, as they relate to the subject but are not brash enough to distract from the rest of the picture.
I would like to see the set up on a old style scrabble board as I think the muted colours and bright tiles might serve to set off the message again, however I will stop short of actually saying this would be better as it may lead to a dull feeling to the picture that makes it less appealing. Only experimentation will help this point really.
The rack should be of similar hues to the board I think, particularly if you are going to stick with the defocused 'YES' as the current set up makes the lower section of the piece look excessively dark.

I genuinely hope that there is something here that you can use, though much is personal preference so as with all these things feel free to pick what you regard as useful advice or not.

Good luck with any revisions and future artwork :)
Reply
:iconfullofsecrets:
FullofSecrets Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2010
Thank you so much for your comment, it was very helpful. I won't touch on every point you made here because I plan to do so more in the comment of my retaken photograph. I'm glad that you like the picture. All of your suggestions were good ones, and while I may not use every one, many of them will end up in the final photograph.

Thanks,
Secret
Reply
:iconlankie:
Lankie Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2010
I eagerly anticipate the final piece :nod:
Reply
:iconcharmed-ravenclaw:
Charmed-Ravenclaw Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
You know the way I first read this picture? 'Marry Me' and then I saw the 'Will You'. I think it's due to the way we're taught to read, horizontally. That and the focus on Marry Me is really clear. I you want the order to be apparent I guess you would switch it around to have the 'Will you' at the horizontal and then the "Marry Me' at the vertical - but then again, if you want to emphasise the Marry Me statement you'd want that in the horizontal. It all depends I suppose on the way you want the viewer to read it.

I really like the letter holder being added on to this one - it's not so random as the placement of 'yes' on the board game so I think it's great. I think it's best the way you've done this shot - nice and clear.
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