Chaos and Courage

“Have you decided yet?” A voice said softly from nearby. Amanda Lavender turned to look at the source of the question, shaking her head a little.
“I’m sorry Joe… I just can’t.”
“Do you think he’s right then?” Joe demanded, leaning towards Amanda for effect. “Do you think he is justified in all the lives he’s taken? All the freedom he’s abolished?”
“No… of course I don’t, Joe, you know that.” Amanda said quickly, obviously distressed.
“Then why won’t you fight with us?” Joe asked angrily, still careful to keep his voice low. “Why won’t you help us show the country what their beloved dictator really is?”
Amanda glanced around nervously, leaning towards Joe so that she could speak even quieter. “Joe, you know it isn’t that simple.”
“It could be if everyone would just stop giving him leverage over their lives,” Joe muttered, crossing his arms defiantly.
“I’m sorry Joe, you know I want to help… I just can’t. Please understand…” Amanda murmured.
“No, I cannot honestly understand why you would turn your back on everyone who needs you most.” Joe said gravely, turning to walk away.
“Joe…”
Joe turned back around, obviously angry as he advanced back to the desk. Putting his face very close to Amanda’s he whispered urgently. “Don’t bother with apologies Amanda, they won’t help. People are dying… They’re being tortured and killed. Meanwhile minions like you pretend nothing is wrong.” Without another word Joe had stormed away, leaving Amanda open mouthed.

He’s right you know… Amanda found herself thinking later. You should help… People need the help from anyone who can give it.
The more logical part of Amanda however, was more rational about things. It would be as good as a death sentence to help form the rebellion. No matter how much Joseph Parson believed the resistance would work, she knew it was impossible. Any force they gathered would scatter when faced with even a fragment of the ruler’s army. It was a hopeless cause, and one that she didn’t much want to die for. Liberty was important, but it could wait.
What we need is a leader… Someone who can outsmart him and leave cunning to do the traditional work of perseverance. She thought, someone like… but no names came to mind. Joe was whom she knew fitted perfectly in that blank, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. The leader of a rebellion always seemed to die in the most public and painful way. She couldn’t let that happen to Joe…
“Amanda?” A masculine voice said timidly. Joe was standing at her desk again, his usually handsome face twisted into an apology that didn’t suit him. “I’m sorry… I overreacted. Of course I understand that you don’t want to help. The risk is tremendous, and I shouldn’t force you into that…”
To say the least, Amanda was relieved by this sudden change of heart. “Thank you Joe… I’m so glad you understand.”
Joe was quiet a moment, finally saying in a very small voice, “So you haven’t changed your mind?”
“No, I haven’t Joe.” Amanda responded, sighing a little.
Joe was going to respond, but no sound emitted from his mouth as a shout ran down the hall.
“All rise!” A sharp voice called, met with an immediate scramble by employees everywhere around Amanda and Joe. Amanda dropped the stack of papers she’d been filing, immediately jumping to her feet. Noticing that Joe had sat in her vacant chair Amanda’s fingers tightly enclosed on his arm, yanking him to his feet.
“Don’t cause trouble or you’ll have to leave,” She hissed, standing at attention in front of her desk. Grudgingly Joe stood beside her, slightly in front of her as if he wanted nothing more than to provide protection.
Two men walked down the hallway, a league of assistants and apprentices trailing behind them. The first of the men wore a uniform decked with medals and ribbons, many of which seemed to be unfitting to the rather robust man. The other stood a little behind the first, checking employees off on a long list of names.
“Tuck in your shirt,” The second man barked to an employee, his eyes narrowed. “Straighten your hat Scklowsky!”
Before long the two men had reached Amanda’s desk, stopping there.
“Good day Ms. Lavender. Any calls for the General?”
“None at all Lyman.” Amanda replied solemnly. “There was a letter though. Would you like it now or would you like me to leave it in the General’s office?”
Before Lyman could respond, the first man had begun to speak. “You can give it to me Amanda, there’s no reason to wait.” He said quietly, all the while staring at Amanda a little less than politely.
Immediately Amanda had located the letter, holding it out for the General to take. As he did so she could feel his hand brush hers, sending an unpleasant feeling through her.
“Yes, sir, anything else?” She asked softly.
“Really Amanda, I thought we’d been over this. You are more than welcome to call me Nero,” the General said kindly.
“Yes sir,” Amanda repeated with a little more force behind it. Though he looked disgruntled, the General nodded. Just as it looked like the two men would move on, Lyman’s gaze met Joe’s.
“No visitors in the office, you know that Amanda.” He said sternly.
“He was only dropping in,” Amanda replied innocently. “He was going to leave, but I insisted he stay to meet the General. Not many have the honor.” Amanda lied smoothly. Just as Lyman seemed like he would object, the General stepped forward.
“General Virote,” He said sternly, holding his hand out to Joe. Joe remained still until Amanda elbowed him hard in the ribs. Grudgingly he took the General’s hand, shook it twice, and looked away.
“Your name?” the General said, obviously frustrated.
“John Smith,” Joe said with a smirk, meeting the General’s gaze in a challenging way. Something about the hate that emitted from Joe seemed to reach Lyman, for he quickly decided it was time to go.
“Good day, Amanda.” He called, leading the General forward. All the while Joe watched them, glaring at their backs with loathing.
The moment the two men and their trailing members were out of the office things returned to their usual buzz. Amanda returned to her seat, beginning the tiresome task of sorting the dropped mail.
“They treat you all like dogs,” Joe said quietly, sitting on the corner of Amanda’s desk while he watched her file. “Expecting you to sit up and beg on command… It’s disgraceful! Not to mention how unproductive it is… Want to know the worst part though?” Joe didn’t pause to let Amanda answer. He was sure she wanted to know. “You all go along with it… That’s the worst. It’s time somebody stood up to him!”
“You and what army?” Amanda asked softly, shaking her head at his foolishness.
“Dunno,” Joe admitted. “Since I can’t even get my fiancé’s help…”
“He’s my boss!”
“He’s the ruler of my country,” Joe countered, his apology lost. “And honestly Amanda, have you ever seen how he looks at you? It’s like you’re something he’s thinking about buying but he can’t decide if it’s the right model.”
“Joseph Parson, watch what you say!” Amanda fumed, glaring at him. “You’re getting carried away.”
“Maybe you like it! Maybe it makes you feel important, and that’s why you won’t help!”
As Joe spoke Amanda jumped to her feet, slapping Joe hard across his face. They were both quiet for a moment, their chests heaving in rhythm as each tried to regain their composure. Silently Amelia sat back down, returning to her stack of papers.
“I’m sorry,” Joe said again, very quietly. “Amanda, I’m just so worried I guess. Everyone agrees with me, but no one is brave enough to help. No one is willing to do what has to be done. I guess I was just hoping that you had enough faith in me to trust in my cause. I do understand why you don’t want to help though… I understand perfectly.”
For the rest of the afternoon not much was said between the couple. Mostly Joe watched Amanda as she worked, and Lyman passed by multiple times to lecture Joe on the need for his removal. Lyman was ignored though, and something seemed to stop him from pursuing punishment for this. At the end of the day Amanda clocked out and Joe walked her home, watching her closely to make sure she got inside safely. It wasn’t until Joe had heard the satisfying click of her lock that he went on his way, off to look for followers in a forbidden rebellion.

Amanda couldn’t quite remember how it happened, but somehow she ended up agreeing to help Joe in his cause. It started with his discouragement in his lack of followers, though soon evolved into being, quite literally, his partner in crime. Together they managed to gain a small, yet satisfying army of followers which stayed in touch thanks to letters Amanda sent every other day from work. Joe stopped by her office regularly now, their wedding postponed indefinitely to make room for more urgent matters.
Even with her reluctance at first, Amanda was now fully engrossed in the cause. She had even gone so far as to sabotage phone calls at work and report false statements to her unsuspecting boss. It was one day, much like the day Joe had first changed her mind about helping that things took a turn for the worse.
“All rise!” Lyman’s voice echoed down the hallway. Amanda stood reluctantly, though much more slowly than the other employees. Joe stood with her, knowing full well the consequences of their drawing attention to themselves.
“Good day Amanda,” the General said, stopping specifically in front of her. This was nothing new however, and Amanda only nodded politely.
“No correspondence,” She told him shortly, meeting his gaze with cool indifference.
“No visitors,” Lyman grumbled for what must have been the millionth time, sighing a little as he said it. Joe met the General’s gaze more out of habit than conscious decision. The challenge was still there, and Amanda realized the mistake too late.
“Who is this again, Amanda? You know the rule against visitors.” The General said, smiling a little as he spoke. There was something unpleasant about the smile… Something almost cynical.
“John Smith,” Joe said in his most polite tone, holding out his hand. The General ignored it, still looking at Amanda.
“I believe you’ve violated the rule on visitors before Amanda?” He said sternly. Amanda thought quickly, knowing she’d have to have an excuse.
“I’m so sorry sir, it’s just that we’ve been planning our wedding lately, and I keep thinking of things that I want to change. I got so tired of having to stop work in order to write my thoughts down, so I asked Joe to come to work with me so we can discuss things without hindering my progress. People do say that brides get a little crazy though, and I suppose they’re right after all. It won’t happen again sir.” Amanda said, making her voice just flustered enough to sound convincing.
“I would hope not,” the General said, his gaze lingering with distaste on Joe. “So you two are being married then?” He added after a short pause.
“Yes, we are. We’ve moved the date indefinitely because my grandmother is ill though. I want so much for her to be able to attend.” Amanda said softly.
“Well, though I thought you had better taste, I look forward to the wedding.” The General said, smiling a little as he moved forward. Amanda could feel Joe tense beside her, though was relieved when he relaxed once more.
“I never cease hating him,” Joe muttered, perching himself in his usual spot on Amanda’s desk. “I really can’t see how you can stand being around him.”
“Practice I suppose,” Amanda said, slightly amused by Joe’s reaction. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were jealous.”
“Jealous? Of that idiot? No my dear, you mistake worry for jealousy.” Joe replied. Amanda only smiled a little more, continuing with her work.
At the end of the day Joe walked Amanda home as he always did.
“Seven o’clock tomorrow morning?” Amanda asked as he started to walk away.
“I’ll be here,” Joe agreed.
“See you tomorrow then!” Amanda called, waving at Joe while he walked away.
“See you later Amanda,” He agreed with a smile. Amanda watched silently as Joe disappeared from sight. For what Amanda would later think was the last time in her life, she felt a sense of happiness that seemed complete. The General’s visit had reminded her of her wedding, which sent her heart to a flutter. More than anything she’d wanted Joe to agree to marry her in nothing more than a small ceremony of family and friends, just to make things official. Joe had always been a gentleman though, and he had insisted that Amanda would get the wedding she’d always dreamed about despite circumstances. When the rebellion was over and done with, Amanda knew the first thing they would do is have their wedding at last. Until then, Amanda thought wistfully, they would just have to know in their hearts that they were then and forever, a pair.

It was nearly eight o’clock when Amanda finally left the house unescorted. She knew that she was in trouble coming in so late, but somehow she hadn’t been able to make herself leave. Joe had promised to come and walk with her, and he he’d never shown up.
Looking up and down the street as she walked Amanda pondered what would keep Joe from coming like he said he would. She imagined that, if he’d found an especially large group of followers he might have stayed the night with them and woken up late. Perhaps he had gotten into the trouble and was trying to reach her…
Quickly Amanda turned her mind to her work. She could not let herself ponder the steadily worse options of what would keep Joe from her. She would not let herself worry than be laughed at her for her nervous tendencies. Joe would show up at her office with a dozen roses and numerous apologies soon enough.
“Soon” did not come however, for even as Amanda was leaving work that evening Joe had not appeared. As she gathered her things wordlessly she heard muted footsteps stop at her desk. Looking up she was surprised to see the General. More out of habit than anything else Amanda straightened in respect, realizing too late that there were tears running down her cheeks.
“I’m sorry sir, I didn’t hear Lyman’s call,” She said.
“No need to be sorry Amanda. Lyman’s home with the flu I’m told. Besides, there’s no reason I can’t walk by just to talk is there?” The General asked, smiling sympathetically. Even with his caring expression Amanda didn’t trust him.
“Just to talk?” She repeated suspiciously. More than anything she wished Joe was with her then, glaring hatefully at the General to make him uncomfortable.
“You’ve been crying,” The General observed.
“Not much,”
“There’s no reason to save face with me Amanda.” The General said gently, “What’s troubling you?”
Amanda hesitated, wondering if there was any reason to lie. “Joe never showed up today.” She said at last, “He was going to walk me to work.”
“Well, it can’t so unusual for a young man to forget my dear. Even the best of us do,” The General said kindly. Amanda only shook her head, staring at the papers on her desk.
“I mean no disrespect, sir, but you don’t understand. Joe doesn’t forget… Joe is there when I need him. He’s always come if he’s promised to. Even if he had forgotten, he would have come and apologized, called me at least to say he’s alright.”
“Why wouldn’t he be alright?” The General asked softly. As Amanda met his gaze she couldn’t help feeling that there was something prying about it.
“I just worry.” Amanda said, sighing a little. “Isn’t it natural?”
“Well, my opinion is that if he’s too good to show up for you, you’re too good for him.” The General said firmly. “But maybe he’ll prove me wrong. Maybe he’ll call you by tomorrow.”
“I hope so, sir. I truly do.” Amanda said softly, quickly picking up her papers so she could leave. “Good day, sir.” She added, brushing past him.
Unfortunately for Amanda, Joe did not call her that night, or anytime the following day. In fact, three days later Amanda still hadn’t heard even the faintest news from her beloved. Despite the General’s insistence that she forget all about Joe, Amanda knew something had to be wrong.

“If you ask me, he’s the one that’s responsible.” A woman who went by Peggy said disdainfully to Amanda.
“What?” Amanda said, distracted as she wrote out a poster.
“What I mean is, I think it’s that horrible dictator of ours that is responsible for Joe’s absence.” Peggy went on. “It’s the only thing that makes sense. You said that Joe was working for the resistance that night. Is it really so peculiar that he got caught?”
“Wouldn’t the General have arrested me too then?” Amanda asked with a sigh. “If he caught Joe it seems inevitable that he would have figured out what we’d been doing all those days he was in my office.”
“Maybe he doesn’t want to see,” Peggy insisted. “Maybe he has some ulterior motive for keeping you there. Maybe he thinks you’re more use this way…”
“Are you suggesting something?” Amanda demanded, looking up at Peggy at last.
“Of course not…” Peggy said, looking away quickly. “But well… It’s not like we could blame you much dear…”
“What on earth are you talking about?”
“Amanda… It’s understandable really. I mean, if that man, the ‘General’ had Joe, we would understand your working with him. I mean… You do work under him anyway. It wouldn’t be so surprising if you were to become a…” Peggy’s voice trailed off into a whisper, still looking away from Amanda.
“A what, Peggy?” Amanda said angrily.
“Well, you know… A spy…”
The room went absolutely silent. Where there had been the faint murmuring of conversations there was now nothing but soft crickets to fill the empty void. The other resistance members were staring anxiously at Amanda now, waiting for her retort.
“Don’t be ridiculous Peggy!” Amanda snapped, glaring over the table at her.
“It makes sense!” Peggy argued desperately as the group mumbled its disagreement over the conversation.
“Peggy, I haven’t got a clue where Joe is or what’s happened to him. I promise you I don’t.” Amanda said icily.
“Would you honestly let them kill Joe if it was a choice between turning us in or saving him?” Peggy demanded. Again silence filled the room. Amanda hesitated, thinking through the last year objectively.
“Yes,” she whispered at last, hearing a relieved sigh from the group around her. “I suppose I would have to, wouldn’t I? Please understand I am not the weak being you all take me for. I do not have unwavering trust in anyone… I would not risk your lives.” Everyone was quiet again as they considered this latest development.
“You could be sure you know,” Peggy whispered, staring imploringly at Amanda. “You could be positive that the dictator doesn’t have him.”
“How?”
“You’re just about as close to him as could be. From how you and Joe always described things you could walk into his office and sit on his lap if you wanted. Don’t you realize that you could be the key to this whole movement? You could threaten him… Get him to resign. You could make him tell you if he kidnapped Joe and where he is.” Peggy said quickly.
“I think you’re overestimating things,” Amanda said, shaking her head. “Lyman would never let me alone with the General. He’s worse than having a guard dog. Besides, I don’t think I’m strong enough to threaten anyone…”
“Too attached?” Someone from the group asked spitefully. Amanda bristled.
“I might remind you that if I wasn’t able to get him to resign, I’d have to kill him? That whether or not I kill him, I’ll probably still have a death sentence.” Amanda snapped.
“You knew you’d die when you joined. We all did. Only you can finish the job though. You don’t have to kill anyone! Just get him to resign and his army will fall with him!”
“That’s right, it must be hard for a dog to disobey its master,” The same voice said maliciously. “It’d be like biting the hand that feeds you I suppose.”
Amanda could feel her hands digging into her skirt in the effort to stay calm. Though the group immediately quieted the source of the outburst, and though even Peggy joined in with the condolences about Joe later in the evening, Amanda could still hear the words running through her head. She refused to be the pet of anyone, least of all the General. The next day she vowed to find out once and for all what had happened to Joe, and to most likely die trying.

“Good morning Amanda,” Lyman said with a stiff nod.
“Good morning Lyman,” Amanda responded. “May I go in to see the General?”
“I’m afraid he’s quite busy this morning,” Lyman said, looking down at his clipboard. “Can’t it wait Amanda?”
“Oh, I’ll only be a minute,” Amanda said slowly, “Come on Lyman, I’m sure he’d like the break… Will you at least ask him?”
Though it was clear Lyman wanted to respond with ‘no’, he grudgingly went into the office. Seconds later he immerged, glaring angrily at Amanda as he said, “Make it quick.”
Smiling grimly Amanda nodded, entering the office. It was only after she’d closed the door that Amanda realized she had not been inside the General’s office alone since she had first started working there.
“Can I help you Amanda?” the General asked pleasantly, folding his large hands over the desk.
Amanda considered how best to go about things, finally deciding. Quietly she locked the door behind her, praying that Lyman was too busy reading his list to notice. The General didn’t seem to notice either, for his expression remained curious. From her pocket Amanda slipped a small gun into her hand, walking slowly toward the General. She did not have to broadcast this fact to him, for his eyes widened ever so slightly.
“Is there a particular reason you plan to take my life?” he asked, trying to make his voice stay casual.
“I’d like very much not to have any loss of life in this ordeal,” Amanda said softly, still walking closer. “But somehow you never seem to take me quite seriously enough when I ask things.”
“I’m listening,” the General said, swallowing a little.
“Do you know where Joe is?” Amanda asked softly, stopping a few feet from the General’s desk. The General eyed the gun for a second before turning his gaze back to Amanda.
“I did, yes.” He said quietly.
“Where is he now?” Amanda said, trying to keep her voice even. The relief inside her was mounting. Whether or not she lived through this, if she could just tell someone else where to find Joe…
“He’s dead,” The General said simply. “So I imagine with other corpses.”
Amanda froze, staring in shock at the General’s face. She could feel her world collapsing around her. All reason for being slipped away with every bit of logic she possessed. If Joe was dead it no longer mattered to her what happened in this room. As far as she was concerned she would shoot them both and be done with it. The General however, was not done talking.
“He died begging for his life you know. Pleading on bended knee that we spare him. He offered to turn in every member of his little rebellion party. He told us who they all were. Didn’t seem to have a problem with it.”
“Shut up!” Amanda whispered, raising the gun to point it at the General. “You horrible, lying, murderer! Shut up!”
“Lying? I just thought you’d like to know what your ‘beloved’ really was like. He told me all about what you have all been doing. He told me that you knew others in this office that were against me. He kept saying that if I interrogated you the right way, you’d tell me every person here.”
“Shut up!” Amanda said a little louder, her hands shaking.
“He was begging and sniveling just like a child. Collapsed on the ground, pleading for his life…” The General went on, ignoring Amanda.
A shot rang through the office, piercing the air with a finality that Amanda had never dreamed possible. Because of her shaking hands Amanda missed her mark a bit, the intended shot in the General’s heart instead falling in his shoulder. He winced, gasping a little.
“You aren’t going to kill me,” He said simply, breathing heavily now. “Not to save someone who’s already dead. Not to avenge the death of someone who didn’t even love you.”
Another shot pierced the air as Amanda felt hot tears run down her face. She had hit the General’s other shoulder, leaving two large spots of blood that slowly soaked his uniform.
“Tell the truth!” Amanda shouted, sobbing now. “You horrible man, for once in your life, tell the truth! Joe would never… You have no idea who you’re talking about!”
When the General didn’t speak Amanda advanced, placing the gun against his head this time.
“Tell the truth,” She whispered. “Tell the truth or you’ll have a hole in your head.”
There was pounding on the door now, followed by panicked shouting. Lyman had apparently gone to get help when he’d heard gunshots, and the helpers were attempting to break down the door.
The General stared at Amanda, his eyes slightly out of focus as he thought this over.
“Joe would never degrade himself! He was the most selfless person I’ve ever known! He would never betray us!” Amanda shouted, “He would never beg for his life.”
The General suddenly smiled a cynical smile, looking demented as he sat there bleeding. “You’re right,” he said, his voice choked from the pain. “He didn’t die begging for his life… He died begging for yours.”
With a last ringing shot the deed was done and the General fell limply back in his chair. At that same moment the door gave at last and the men rushed in to survey the damage. There was only one person unaware of the chaos going on in the office now though, and that was Amanda. The moment the last shot had been fired Amanda had collapsed to the floor, the gun falling at her side. She was in hysterics, but couldn’t make herself care. All she could think of was Joe being dead. Nothing else mattered. Nothing in the world meant more to her than having Joe with her.
With shaking hands Amanda could feel herself reach for the gun, willing nothing more than to finish it all once and for all. She was too slow though, for one of the guards had snatched it from the floor already. She could feel two men lifting her to her feet, dragging her up, but still she didn’t help. She could hear Lyman’s panicked shouts and ignored them. Nothing else mattered to her.
“Let go of her!” Lyman’s voice called angrily. “Yes, I’ll take care of it. Yes, I understand. Of course I understand. Yes, I’ll make sure she doesn’t leave this room!”
After a few more yelled arguments form the guards Amanda could feel them release her. Rather than stand on her own Amanda let herself fall to the ground, still sobbing uncontrollably. Soon the only sound in the room was her weeping, a noise far more terrible than that of bullets to poor Lyman.
“Amanda?” Lyman said, gently touching her shoulder.
“He’s dead,” Amanda sobbed, covering her face. “Oh… I was so angry with him and he’s dead… Peggy was right…”
“Why did you shoot him if you didn’t want him dead?” Lyman asked, obviously confused as he knelt beside her. This at least was enough to startle Amanda back into reality.
“What?”
“Why would you shoot the General and then get this upset? What happened?” Lyman clarified.
Amanda wasn’t sure whether she wanted to laugh or cry at this. “Not him,” She said at last, her voice breaking uncomfortably. “He deserved to die… I’d kill him again. He killed Joe… He watched me worry and look and he killed him! He’s a horrible, awful-“
“Amanda, hold on.” Lyman said quickly, “Let me understand. Do you mean that fellow that you always had in the office? Do you mean that ‘John Smith’ guy who you were engaged to?”
“Of course!” Amanda shouted, stifling another string of sobs.
“Amanda, he isn’t dead.” Lyman said softly. “He’s not in great shape mind you, but he isn’t dead. The General wanted to have him killed, but I asked him… I mean we decided that it was best to keep him alive. You know, for interrogation purposes. Mind you, he never gave us anything, but I managed to keep the General from using any of the harsher techniques on him. He should be fine.”

It had been exactly two years since that fateful day and things were looking up at last. Just as Peggy had predicted, the General’s empire had collapsed only hours after his death. Amanda was let free in the confusion, and Lyman had graciously slipped away to help Amanda free Joe and the other prisoners. As it turned out Lyman had been much like Amanda in the way that he’d been working against the General. In contrast though, he did not trust others enough to let anyone else know of his disloyalty. All the same, he had worked hard to get Joe to leave the office and avoid suspicion on multiple occasions.
Amanda and Joe had reunited with a few words and a lot of silence. For much of the time they stood in each other’s arms, thinking things that couldn’t be said as they stared at one another.
Now there was a new leader, though much more diplomatically chosen. Under Amanda’s and Joe’s support Lyman had become the primary candidate for being established in office. Now he was running the country, and had become quite good at it in the last year and a half he’d been in charge. Most of the domestic problems had subsided, and few found reason to greatly dislike their new leader. The day the General had died was declared a national holiday in honor of Amanda’s brave deeds.
Though all of these things were quite nice, this is not where our story ends. There is no reason to show Lyman standing before a crowd of millions while he presents Amanda with a medal, or any more reason to show the parades and interviews that our heroine went through. Instead we end on a quiet scene between Amanda and Joe, just as the sun was setting on the second anniversary of their dictator’s death, and their marriage.
“Have you decided yet?” Joe asked Amanda softly.
“No, I haven’t. It’s a hard decision to make Joe. You have to have patience.” Amanda said laughingly. “You could help you know…”
“No, it’s alright. I’m no good at coming up with names. No baby wants to be stuck with some ordinary name like ‘Joe’.”
Amanda laughed a little, patting her inflated stomach tenderly. “I was considering the name Olivia. It has a nice ring to it.” She admitted thoughtfully.
Joe wrinkled his nose a little, “It makes me think of olives.”
“So?”
“I’m allergic to olives.”
They both laughed merrily, looking out at the sunset. After a few moments Amanda laid her head on Joe’s shoulder, closing her eyes.
“What would you have done Amanda?” Joe asked suddenly, staring down at his wife’s soft hair. She opened her eyes in surprise, raising her head. Quickly he hurried on, “If what the General had said had been true all that time ago?”
“I would have forgiven you,” Amanda said softly, closing her eyes once more. “I would have understood. I still would have killed him.”
“You know I’d never betray you though, don’t you?” Joe murmured.
“Of course I do,” Amanda said with a small smile. “Why do you ask?”
“I was just thinking… Just wondering I guess. There’s always all that talk about how heroic you are around this time. I just wish you’d tell me what happened in that room.”
“I did tell you,” Amanda said softly, leaning against Joe once more.
“You won’t tell me everything. You won’t tell me what exactly the General said to make you shoot him.” Joe countered.
“It was horrible. Why would you want to hear it?” Amanda asked quietly, her voice fading a little.
“Please Amanda?”
“He just went on and on about how you were dead… He kept saying that you tried to turn all of us in and that you said it was fine for me to be killed. He said that you just wanted to save yourself. It’s funny though… He died a liar even after I gave him so many chances to tell the truth.” Amanda said thoughtfully.
“What did he say when he died?” Joe asked quickly.
“He said that you died begging for my life instead of yours.”
Joe was quiet a moment, staring down at Amanda quietly. “Well… I didn’t die, so I guess he was technically lying. Otherwise though, he was telling the truth. About the last part I mean.”
“What?” Amanda’s eyes were open now, staring up at Joe.
“When I was caught and I realized he’d connected me to you, I begged him to leave you alone. I told him that I’d dragged you into the whole thing and that you would just go back to normal with me gone. I just couldn’t let him get you too Amanda. I thought that if you could just realize what had happened to me, maybe you’d have enough sense to run away. It was Lyman who really saved you though. All my pleading only made the General more eager to get you too. Lyman convinced him that it was a better choice to leave you alone and observe you closely. He had no idea that you’d shoot the General though… Neither did I honestly.”
Amanda thought this over, wondering how she was supposed to feel. “Joe?” she said at last, closing her eyes one last time.
“Yes Amanda?”
“Will you promise me something?”
“Anything.”
“Promise me that if you say you’re going to come to something, you’ll come.” Amanda mumbled.
“Of course… Can I ask why?”
“Because that way if you don’t come, I can skip straight to the last part. If I could have just not wasted that week looking for you and assumed the worst like everyone kept telling me to do, I could have saved you so much faster.” Amanda explained with a yawn.
“I promise.” Joe said solemnly. Amanda didn’t respond, her breathing becoming slow and steady as they sat outside together. Fireworks were going off in the distance, competing with the sun for the spot as the most spectacular view of the evening sky.
“Happy anniversary Amanda.” Joe whispered, settling himself comfortably as he closed his eyes too.
Happy anniversary, Amanda thought as she slept. No two words could have meant more to Amanda Parson.